The Next Chapter Blog

Transformation Blocks

Mon, 27 Apr 2026 06:05:14 GMT

Transformation blocks, a.k.a. “Why am I eating the third piece of chocolate when I clearly said one?”

I’ve been noticing something about myself… and maybe you’ll recognize this too. I want to be healthy.
I want to feel comfortable in my clothes (including the really cute ones hanging in the back of the closet).
I want to feel energized, confident, and at my ideal weight.

And yet…

When I’m faced with a very real, very human moment—
“Do I want the dessert?”
“Do I want one piece of chocolate… or enough to fill my emotional void?”
“Do I stop at comfortably full… or clean my plate like the well-trained woman I was raised to be?”

Let’s just say… I don’t always choose the version of me I want to be.

In fact, more often than I’d like to admit, I find myself doing the exact opposite of what I say I want.

So… what is that about?

When We Know Better… But Don’t Do Better

As a nurse, I’ve had some very honest conversations with patients about their health. Conversations where the truth is sitting right there in the room.

Sometimes I would gently—but directly—ask:
“Do you want to live? Because the choices you’re making are taking you in the opposite direction.”

And here’s the surprising part:
Many people would say they want to be healthy… but their actions told a completely different story.

It’s easy to see the disconnect when it’s someone else.

It’s much harder to see it when it’s us… standing in the kitchen… holding a fork.

The Real Reason (It’s Not About Willpower)

For a long time, I thought this was a willpower problem.

Interestingly: it’s not.

It’s an identity problem .

If I’m being completely honest, this is how I’ve seen myself for years:

“I’m someone who struggles with weight.”
“I’m someone who starts and stops.”
“I don’t really like exercise.”
“I’m a little inconsistent… okay, maybe more than a little.”

So even when I do eat well for a while…
Even when I do go to the gym consistently…
Even when I do feel amazing…

There’s this quiet voice underneath it all whispering:
“How long is this going to last?”

And eventually… I prove that voice right.

Not because I’m weak.
Not because I don’t care.
But because my identity hasn’t caught up with my effort .

The Shift That Changes Everything

The real work isn’t forcing yourself to behave differently.

The real work is becoming someone different— from the inside out .

Because when your identity shifts, your choices follow.

Instead of:
“I’m trying to eat healthy…”

It becomes:
“I’m a woman who takes care of her body.”

Instead of:
“I should go for a walk…”

It becomes:
“Movement is just part of who I am.”

This isn’t about pressure.

It’s not about perfection.

And it’s definitely not about another strict plan

that works for two weeks and then disappears.

It’s about gently, consistently reshaping the way you see yourself.

What Actually Helps (Real-Life, Doable Tools)

Not in an overwhelming, “add 10 more things to your life” kind of way… But in a grounded, supportive, you can actually do this kind of way.

Here’s what’s made a difference for me:

Daily affirmations (yes, even if they feel a little awkward at first)
Mindful moments —pausing before reacting on autopilot
Checking in with myself : “What do I actually need right now?”
Looking in the mirror and speaking kindly to myself (this one can be surprisingly powerful)

Gratitude —especially for this incredible body that keeps showing up for me
Journaling to untangle thoughts instead of eating through them
Talking to someone who sees the best in me when I forget
Doing something fun or creative (because life is not meant to be all discipline and no joy)

A Different Way Forward

Instead of another diet…
Another “start over Monday”…
Another cycle of doing great, then quietly slipping back…

What if this time, you chose something softer—and more lasting?

What if you stopped trying to fix yourself…
And started becoming the version of you who naturally lives the life you want ?

This is transformation from the inside out.

And when you do this work, something beautiful happens:

The choices that once felt hard… start to feel natural.
The habits you struggled with… begin to shift.
And when you do have an off moment (because you’re human)…

You don’t spiral.

You simply pause…
Reconnect…
And gently come back to yourself.

No shame.
No harsh self-talk.
Just a quiet, powerful return to the woman you are becoming.

If this resonates with you, take a breath for a moment…

You are not hopeless.
You are not broken.
And you are absolutely capable of becoming the woman you’ve been trying so hard to be.

One small, kind, intentional thought at a time.

All the best,

Bonnie

The Power of Woo Hoo!

Mon, 27 Apr 2026 04:44:12 GMT

Exploring The Power.

Today I invite you to go on an adventure with me. We are going to explore the power of Woo Hoo! And what that simple 2 syllable phrase can do for our lives and those we influence.

Recently I heard a story about John, a young man who loves climbing mountains even when they are icy. He was climbing with a group of friends when the weather turned very cold and a blizzard started blowing. They set up their tents on the side of the mountain with the fierce cold and powerful wind threatening their very lives. An idea came to him that he had heard of. Woo Hoo! He shouted into the deafening wind and raised his fist in the air! His friends looked at him like he had lost it. He then went on to yell Woo-Hoo again and started pointing out all the things that were going right for them. They had shelter, they had food, and most importantly they had each other. With this perspective the atmosphere changed in the cramped tent from worry and fear to hope and resilience . They started joking and laughing. The storm lasted for a couple of days but every time they felt anxiety creeping in someone would yell Woo Hoo causing them to smile, laugh, and start looking at what they had versus what they feared or how cold they were. Rob had found a secret! He and his friends went from just surviving to thriving in the midst of life-threatening challenges.

Now this story impressed me, however, as I am not a climber and my challenges are rather mundane. I wondered how Woo Hoo could impact my life. My husband and I are building a home just outside of Sedro Woolley. We have been living in a 5 ^th wheel for 1 year and 9 months, 2 days, 8 hours and 25 minutes… One of the least favorite chores I do is take our dirty clothes to the laundromat every 2 weeks. On this Thursday two days after hearing that story, I was hurtling the dirty clothes into piles muttering to my dogs how I hate lugging all of the heavy baskets of clothing down the steps, to my truck, then into the laundromat and dealing with machines that sometimes eat my money or refuse to clean my clothes. An idea popped in my mind… Woo Hoo! I yelled, pumping my fist in the air! Startling myself and the dogs I again yelled Woo Hoo! I get to take my clothes to a laundromat where they have machines and hot water to get the dirt out of my clothes! I don’t have to scrub them by hand! Instantly, I grinned as I felt joy and gratitude bubbling up where just seconds ago resentment and irritation were monopolizing my thoughts.

Woo Hoo changed my day! I did not go to the grocery store across the street and get a sugary sweet to numb myself from negative emotions ( yes I am a recovering sugar addict and emotional eater) instead I actually smiled and talked to other folks at the laundromat.

Woo Hoo is an easy, free and delightful way to celebrate the good in our lives. Our bodies actually release dopamine and endorphins -the chemicals responsible for happiness and motivation when we do this . A study conducted at the University of California found that people who regularly celebrate small victories experience increased well-being, lower stress levels, and more resilient mindsets. Giving another person a Woo Hoo gives them a burst of the happy neuro cocktail and creates connection. Woo Hoo is not just fun it is a great way to improve our mental health!

Now, I am not recommending a Pollyanna response to all of life. We need to nurture and comfort ourselves and others during heartache or grief. When anger gives us notice that something is not right, we should listen and evaluate what needs to be done. When fear screams, “Don’t jump off that cliff”! We might be smart to heed the caution.

What I am suggesting is let’s celebrate ourselves and each other with gusto ! Let’s release our worries about uncontrollable people or circumstances! Let’s survive and THRIVE! Let us yell Woo Hoo when irritated or overwhelmed! Let’s find joy in the mundane challenges and in the scary moments! We got this! Woo Hoo!

So, to try out this new tooI invite you:

Stand up with me raise your fist and yell with all your heart “Woo Hoo”!

All the best,

Bonnie

My Why

Tue, 03 Mar 2026 00:47:35 GMT

A Burning Desire for Growth

As I thought about what I would like to share with you. I keep thinking about my “Why’s” for anything I do. I thought you might enjoy reading my first speech I gave to my Toastmasters group: ( Toastmasters is a club you can join to help anyone improve their public speaking skills)

“Thank you for giving me the opportunity to stand before you today and share my WHY for joining Toastmasters when public speaking has always been right near the top of my phobia list. It is second only to swinging by a cord high up – overlooking Yosemite Valley while climbing Half Dome!

My “why” for joining Toastmasters, however, is rooted in a burning desire for growth— I want to communicate effectively and give compelling messages to ignite the joy of living and to inspire the hope of healthy wellbeing in all areas of life, I want to help anyone with any dream they have to not only create the dream but to experience the incredible satisfaction of becoming that person in their dream! I realize that in order to share my ideas, connect with others, and make a positive impact, I need to develop courage and the tools to express myself confidently.

Why do I want to find my voice??? Well let me tell you. I am the first-born daughter and first-born granddaughter of a pretty dysfunctional family that goes back as many generations that I know of. I am and have been a wife, a very young mother, now a grandmother and registered nurse for well we won’t mention how many years… . … and during that time my many roles dominated my life so that I was not sure who I really was. As a middle-aged single woman, I finally had time, too much time- I realized how lost I was… The abuse and trauma in my life as a child and later in my first marriage had set the stage for my limiting ideas about life and yet I knew there must be answers out there…I started a healing journey with therapy, insightful books, and last year I started listening to podcasts created by Life Coaches. I am so grateful for the help I received and the people who have provided light along the way. I wanted a way to give back for all the joy and health I have found in my journey so I decided to become a Life and Health Coach myself!

I recently graduated from two coaching schools with certifications for Health and Life Coaching and I am ready to share the message of hope and life!

So talking about roles…As I mentioned the roles I have had in my life I am sure you could picture what those might be like but the funny thing is when I mention becoming a Life and Health Coach to most folks I get a blank stare… I know the feeling because I had no idea either until I investigated it.

As I studied Life and Health Coaching, I experienced transformation for myself! I came to understand that true healing happens when we address the whole person— body, mind, and spirit. With small, sustainable changes we can create meaningful transformation in any area of life. One of the most important breakthroughs is the mindset and identity beliefs that change and dissolve lifelong blocks which help us develop positive habits from the inside out. So instead of seeing myself as deathly afraid of public speaking I can slowly and gently shift my mindset to: I just love using my voice to inspire hope and joy.

As a life and health coach my most effective tool is listening- not only to words but to the deeper why in every heart…. “Why do I want to lose weight? Is it just so I look good? Or is it maybe because I am hoping to be worthy of love?” My coaching programs are thoughtfully designed to guide anyone through a powerful, step-by-step journey of discovering purpose, passion, and how to listen to the inner voice- so anyone can create a life that feels joyful, empowered, and authentic. By providing heart-centered support every step of the way, using curated information, experiential exercises and creating accountability this transformation becomes joyful new way of doing life!

So, fellow Toastmasters here I am! Facing The Fears and challenging my own boundaries! I look forward to discovering my voice and learning how to use it. I am excited to listen, to learn, and to grow alongside a community of supportive and inspiring individuals such as yourselves. Thank you”

And thank you for joining me on the journey of self-discovery and personal growth. We will have so much fun getting to know one another! It is my deepest and heartfelt wish for us to have abundance in every area of life! Let’s do it!

All the best,

Bonnie

Because You Deserve To Thrive, Not Just Survive

Thu, 29 May 2025 08:02:27 GMT

Thriving Is Not Selfish

When you’re surviving, you operate from depletion.

You push through exhaustion.
You numb stress with food, wine, scrolling, or overworking.
You say “yes” when your body is screaming “no.”
You prioritize peacekeeping over authenticity.
You measure your worth by productivity or approval.

Survival mode is powerful in a crisis. It keeps you going.

But long-term? It disconnects you from yourself.

You may look successful on the outside — responsible, capable,

strong — yet internally feel:

Disconnected from your body
Frustrated with your weight or energy
Resentful in relationships
Unsure of your direction
Tired in a way that sleep doesn’t fix

That isn’t failure.

That’s a nervous system that has been on high alert for too long.

For many women — especially those shaped by trauma, people-pleasing,

or years of caregiving — thriving can feel dangerous.

If I slow down, everything will fall apart.
If I set boundaries, people will leave.
If I take care of myself, I’m selfish.
If I shine too brightly, I’ll be judged.

But here’s the truth:

Thriving isn’t indulgent.
Thriving is regulated.
Thriving is aligned.
Thriving is honest.

Thriving means:

Eating in a way that nourishes instead of punishes
Moving your body because you love it, not because you hate it
Setting boundaries without apology
Resting without guilt
Feeling emotions without numbing them
Creating a life that reflects who you are now — not who you had to be to survive

All the best,

Bonnie